Fiance speaking with ex boyfriend behind my back?
A couple of weeks ago, I found on my phone bill that my fiance had a conversation behind my back with her ex boyfriend for 45 minutes while she was at the Dr. and I was home with her daughter, my soon to be step daughter who is 11. She was also texting him before that and deleted all the texts. She knows I have a problem with her speaking with this ex. She became quite defensive and angry over being confronted. We agreed she would not speak to him again, and she sent him a text saying they can not speak anymore. He answered with OK, no problem which seemed odd to me considering he is obsessed with her and has tried to contact her before. I believe she forewarned him that I knew since I texted her at work saying I knew, before we spoke when she came home and sent the text to him. Well, a few days later I checked again and it appears she has not been speaking with him (though she may be doing so at work) but I came across a conversation they had a month before the last one that was 2 and a half hours long! There were also several little conversations lasting only a few minutes. The final one I found and the most hurtful was her speaking with him for 25 minutes on her way to work in the morning on our anniversary. I can just picture getting her ready for work, kissing her goodbye, then her getting in the car and calling him and not only that, but ending up 10 minutes late to work just to finish speaking with him. I feel really hurt and betrayed, especially since she first claimed it was an isolated incident the first time. I found 1 email from him in her yahoo account, which I forwarded to myself. I then signed back in to her account check and see if she deleted it, and of course she did, but I still have that copy. There have been several calls that came on her phone as restricted. What do you all think? Does it seem like she is still in contact with him? I told her all was well and good, but I can’t seem to get over it. I think about it every day and it’s really messing my head up. If I confront her again it seems redundant since I confronted her a second time when I found the older, lengthy phone calls. Anyone have any advice on what to do?
One thing I should mention is, an ex of mine friended me on facebook, and I told her about it immediately. Well, she flipped out and gave me holy hell on and off for a month about it, and that was after I was upfront and honest. When my ex contacted me, there was not even a conversation and I told her right away.
Also, I almost forgot to mention this. The other day she came home with a box of Godiva chocolate. She told me that a client at work (female) had given it to her. Now, normally, I would have just thought Oh, that was nice of her! but I’m having such a hard time trusting her now and I really want to, but I can’t help but think that maybe this ex showed up at work and dropped it off and they saw each other or something. They have a very on and off history where they keep breaking up and getting back together. It’s killing me that I don’t trust her the way I used to. Am I over reacting? I just don’t know how to get past this. I found out November 9th and am still not much better psychologically than I was when I first found out.
Is the chocolate thing weird? I’m wondering if he dropped it off as a gift to her job. She says her client gave it to her as a thanksgiving present. What do you all think?
Thanks everyone for the answers so far. I have to make 2 things clear though that I might not have before.
1- This ex is not her child’s father, he is just an ex.
2- I never went and told my sob story to my ex girlfriend, You misunderstood me. Back over the summer, one of my ex’s contacted me on facebook and as soon as she did, I told my fiance, I never even spoke with my ex. Sorry if I did not convey properly what I was trying to say.
Originally posted 2009-12-02 04:12:40. Republished by Blog Post Promoter